No Fail Xmas Cake Recipe

I don't bake that often 

but

this year

I thought I'd try and be all domesticated and try 

my lovely friend's 

no fail, tried and tested recipe for...

Tequila Christmas Cake

1 cup sugar

1 tsp. baking powder

1 cup water

 1 tsp. salt

1 cup brown sugar

Lemon juice

4 large eggs

Nuts

1 bottle tequila

2 cups dried fruit

1.   Sample the tequila to check quality. 

2.   Take a large bowl; check the tequila again to be sure it is of the highest quality. Repeat.


3.   Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. 


4.   Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. 


5.   At this point, it is best to make sure the tequila is still OK. 


6.   Try another cup just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. 


7.   Break 2 eegs and add to the bowl and chuck iin the cup of dried fruit. 


8.   Pick the fruit up off the floor. 


9.   Mix on the turner. If the fried druit getas stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver.


10. Sample the tequila to test for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something. Check the tequila. 


11. Now shift the lemon ice strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.
      Whatever you can find. 


12. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 s and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. 


13. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the tequila and wipe the counter with the cat.